Doron Ofir Casting is looking to meet interesting, smart, savvy, unique, “different” single girls who are at least 21 years old and appear under 35 who laugh at the lemmings, march to the beat of their own drum, and make their own rules.
To the girl at the vintage thrift store thumbing through 45’s, to the romantic dreamer whose male lead has yet to manifest, the chick in the storm trooper hoodie, the babe who can quote BSG, the girl who writes and sketches in her journal, the fangirl who is entranced by anime, the wand-wielding-witch that will charm the shit out of us; from the gal who repurposes her clothes, to the girl that updates her status with acerbic finesse, the female who can fix a computer, tag us with a sticky grenade, or even just know what the hell we’re talking about, we salute you!
You’ve always been your own person; your most valued assets are your keen mind, your quick wit, and your sharp tongue. You’re an iconoclast, an original. You don’t feel immense social pressure to squeeze into some category of ‘cool’. Maybe it’s tough to meet a guy who really "gets" you.
"The Examined Life" will celebrate girls who are ready to pave the way for a re-invention of reality. No games, no challenges… just an honest opportunity for self-expression and to laugh, learn, and live "An Examined Life."
We’re sick of meeting the chicks you hate… Isn’t it time you we heard your point of view?
WWW.EXAMINEDLIFECASTING.COM
Thursday
Saturday
O. M. G.
Wednesday
Sex and the Single Jedi II ~ Getting to First Star Base
Written by Guest Blogger
I'm going to make a bold statement: Science Fiction and Fantasy stories are always about sex.
Don't believe me?
The goal of Star Wars: Episode IV was to sink a missile into a hole.
The magic in Lord of the Ring happens when he puts his finger through the ring.
Battlestars are phallic shaped and the Basestars are sideways vjs.
Okay, so maybe I'm stretching it a bit here, but you understand. To horny teenage geeks, even our safe haven, speculative fiction, was not safe from the transformation taking place within. To quote Revenge of the Nerds, "All jocks think about is sports. All nerds think about is sex."
My first romantic kiss happened, at all places, a Christian summer camp. Summer camp is a great place for the young geek to step outside his shell and try out different personalities and skills. In my case, 1979 was the summer I got to be the most popular kid at camp.
Every summer I went to Camp Monadnock in Jaffrey, New Hampshire with my best friend Geoff. It is a glorious place located at the base of Mt. Monadnock and offers everything from horseback riding, fishing, and hiking to other wilderness-type things. This was what kids did before video games, for you S.O.G.ers under 30. I fondly remember that particular summer because of Darcy Morgan.
Ah, Darcy. Hair like spun Latimun. A smile to make a Vorlon weep.
The “good” kids were being tormented by an older bully. In a rare moment of courage while being accosted in the lunch line, I used judo, a discipline I had just started to study, to toss him on his ass. Humiliated, he left us alone the rest of our stay and Princess Darcy rewarded me by dragging me off to her castle to make-out (okay, it was a covered wagon. Mario Brothers wouldn’t be invented for another few years.) We kissed for what seemed like forever while everyone else was in the prayer circle. Yeah, I had some good old fashion Christian guilt after that, but for a first kiss, it was magical. Darcy didn’t return the following summer, and I’ve spent years trying to track her online, to no avail. (You women and your married names.)
It would be almost two years later before I got my first girlfriend, Kristen. Kristen was different than Darcy in many ways. Taller, thinner and wearing those sexy librarian glasses. You know the ones guys; like Janine Melnitz from Ghostbusters. We had a great relationship until I blew it.
One night, Kristen and her best friend Laura were having a sleep over and called me in a panic. Apparently, they were playing with a Ouija board, something my folks had warned me was a tool of the devil. They were crying because all the lights in the house had gone out and they were worried about some spirit roaming the hall outside their bedroom door. Before I could say anything, the line went dead. I freaked. I thought Satan had eaten my girlfriend. I started praying and called the police. And then Kristen and Laura called back… laughing. It was all a joke.
I broke up with her. God, I was naive! I never had another girlfriend all through high school due to my geek status. Her family moved away before the next school year and I never got a second chance. I only recently found her to apologize. Facebook is good for unresolved issues.
Kristen and I had only ever kissed, too nervous was I to even try anything else. To quote Yoda, “Horniness leads to erections, erections lead to embarrassment.” Okay, maybe that was in American Jedi, but you get the point. I didn’t want to embarrass myself with a girl.
So, what do I do? Embarrass myself the first time I got past first base.
At age 14, my failed attempt to score was with girl who wouldn’t even admit we were seeing each other, less it ruin her reputation. Let’s call her Ms. S to protect that reputation to this day. Ms. S would invite me over to listen to REO Speedwagon albums. It was a summer of “Riding the Storm Out,” for sure. One warm afternoon, we took a ride on ATV and found a spot behind an elementary school to make out. Much to my amazement, Ms. S slid her hand inside my shorts.
Okay, this is weird, I thought. What do I do next?
I tried to reciprocate. With images of the Trial of the Treebeast from Flash Gordon fresh in my mind, I timidly inserted my hand past her waist band and found “it.” Still too naive, that’s all I did; touch it. Then I moved my hand back out. She did the same. Clothes were never removed, no pleasure was achieved by either party and bored, Ms. S stopped inviting me over for make-out and REO sessions. I still can’t hear “[And I’m] Gonna Keep on Lovin’ You” without a tear rolling down my cheek.
The point of all this, as I’m sure you’re all wondering, is that sex is a lot like attacking the Death Star. A lot of brave, but scared, men have tried attacking that trench, only to be shot down, or worse, impact on the surface.
Hey, that reminds me of the first time I tried to lose my virginity. But that’s a story for another time.
Next Time – B&D has Nothing to Do with Rolling Dice
Long_shot1986 is a single dad, author and former Beetlejuice impersonator. He's published one novel, a dozen short stories and made two short films. He resides in Denver, but can be found at conventions all over the country. To read more about him visit www.DavidBoop.com
Don't believe me?
The goal of Star Wars: Episode IV was to sink a missile into a hole.
The magic in Lord of the Ring happens when he puts his finger through the ring.
Battlestars are phallic shaped and the Basestars are sideways vjs.
Okay, so maybe I'm stretching it a bit here, but you understand. To horny teenage geeks, even our safe haven, speculative fiction, was not safe from the transformation taking place within. To quote Revenge of the Nerds, "All jocks think about is sports. All nerds think about is sex."
My first romantic kiss happened, at all places, a Christian summer camp. Summer camp is a great place for the young geek to step outside his shell and try out different personalities and skills. In my case, 1979 was the summer I got to be the most popular kid at camp.
Every summer I went to Camp Monadnock in Jaffrey, New Hampshire with my best friend Geoff. It is a glorious place located at the base of Mt. Monadnock and offers everything from horseback riding, fishing, and hiking to other wilderness-type things. This was what kids did before video games, for you S.O.G.ers under 30. I fondly remember that particular summer because of Darcy Morgan.
Ah, Darcy. Hair like spun Latimun. A smile to make a Vorlon weep.
The “good” kids were being tormented by an older bully. In a rare moment of courage while being accosted in the lunch line, I used judo, a discipline I had just started to study, to toss him on his ass. Humiliated, he left us alone the rest of our stay and Princess Darcy rewarded me by dragging me off to her castle to make-out (okay, it was a covered wagon. Mario Brothers wouldn’t be invented for another few years.) We kissed for what seemed like forever while everyone else was in the prayer circle. Yeah, I had some good old fashion Christian guilt after that, but for a first kiss, it was magical. Darcy didn’t return the following summer, and I’ve spent years trying to track her online, to no avail. (You women and your married names.)
It would be almost two years later before I got my first girlfriend, Kristen. Kristen was different than Darcy in many ways. Taller, thinner and wearing those sexy librarian glasses. You know the ones guys; like Janine Melnitz from Ghostbusters. We had a great relationship until I blew it.
One night, Kristen and her best friend Laura were having a sleep over and called me in a panic. Apparently, they were playing with a Ouija board, something my folks had warned me was a tool of the devil. They were crying because all the lights in the house had gone out and they were worried about some spirit roaming the hall outside their bedroom door. Before I could say anything, the line went dead. I freaked. I thought Satan had eaten my girlfriend. I started praying and called the police. And then Kristen and Laura called back… laughing. It was all a joke.
I broke up with her. God, I was naive! I never had another girlfriend all through high school due to my geek status. Her family moved away before the next school year and I never got a second chance. I only recently found her to apologize. Facebook is good for unresolved issues.
Kristen and I had only ever kissed, too nervous was I to even try anything else. To quote Yoda, “Horniness leads to erections, erections lead to embarrassment.” Okay, maybe that was in American Jedi, but you get the point. I didn’t want to embarrass myself with a girl.
So, what do I do? Embarrass myself the first time I got past first base.
At age 14, my failed attempt to score was with girl who wouldn’t even admit we were seeing each other, less it ruin her reputation. Let’s call her Ms. S to protect that reputation to this day. Ms. S would invite me over to listen to REO Speedwagon albums. It was a summer of “Riding the Storm Out,” for sure. One warm afternoon, we took a ride on ATV and found a spot behind an elementary school to make out. Much to my amazement, Ms. S slid her hand inside my shorts.
Okay, this is weird, I thought. What do I do next?
I tried to reciprocate. With images of the Trial of the Treebeast from Flash Gordon fresh in my mind, I timidly inserted my hand past her waist band and found “it.” Still too naive, that’s all I did; touch it. Then I moved my hand back out. She did the same. Clothes were never removed, no pleasure was achieved by either party and bored, Ms. S stopped inviting me over for make-out and REO sessions. I still can’t hear “[And I’m] Gonna Keep on Lovin’ You” without a tear rolling down my cheek.
The point of all this, as I’m sure you’re all wondering, is that sex is a lot like attacking the Death Star. A lot of brave, but scared, men have tried attacking that trench, only to be shot down, or worse, impact on the surface.
Hey, that reminds me of the first time I tried to lose my virginity. But that’s a story for another time.
Next Time – B&D has Nothing to Do with Rolling Dice
Long_shot1986 is a single dad, author and former Beetlejuice impersonator. He's published one novel, a dozen short stories and made two short films. He resides in Denver, but can be found at conventions all over the country. To read more about him visit www.DavidBoop.com
Friday
Thursday
James and His Leisure Suit MUST Be Stopped!
Our very own James was on the Maury show today! While we disagree with the general assumption that Geeks want or need to change....the leisure suit HAD to go. He had a wonderful time and got a great new look. I don't think anyone will recognize him at the next Con. I kind of miss the Fu Man Choo stache, though.
Wednesday
Sex and the Single Jedi ~ 1977
At age 8, my world of entertainment, to that point, had consisted of The Munsters and Scooby-doo. My Aunt took me and my cousin to see a matinee of Episode IV that summer and I walked out of the theater having no more understanding of what I'd seen than I do now about string theory. I remembered believing the big hairy guy was the hero and there were lots of explosions.
Apparently, the film had made enough of an impression though, that it was all I could talk about. My parents to bought me something called "Action Figures.” All the stores had left were Darth Vader, C3PO and R2-D2. Still having little concept of the movie, I had C3PO beating up Darth regularly. Soon after, I discovered the Star Wars comics and, armed with information, went to see the movie again. And again. And again. Over the years, I’d read everything I could related to Star Wars. And though it, I discovered a love of science, literature, film, music and even developed my imagination by creating intense stories with my now much larger figure collection. It was a large portion of my life and I infused into everything I did, including friends and relationships. I was well on my way to nerddom.
Which is why a classmate decided to burst my bubble about sex.
I'd never really given much thought to procreating at that point. My parents were Christian Ministers and things like that were not to be discussed until I reached some age of accountability. My guess was that age would have been 20. A kid in my school decided it was more fun to show how cool he was by explaining how a boy's thing goes in a girl's hole and what it was called in glorious terms. A light bulb went on as for years I had confused the meaning of “the word” for failing a task and couldn’t understand why I got into trouble for saying someone "fucked out of school."
Like with Star Wars, I became obsessed with finding out more. My parents wouldn’t share and my classmates kept their knowledge secret; a way to hold themselves above me. So, I learned about opposite sex by reading as well. We traveled a lot and you'd be surprised how many Playboys got left behind in hotel rooms. Those plus the Bee-Line novels at truck stops helped me understand how much I still had to learn. Books became videos like Tarzan the Ape Man with Bo Derek, my first spank flick. The crux was managing a video store with one of those magical back rooms drunks and old married guys conspicuously slipped into. With access to porn, I was acquiring knowledge, but still had no actual experience.
You see, my one obsession hampered the other. Growing up in small town Wisconsin, you might think kids were opened-minded and embracing of my uniqueness… but you'd be wrong. I was neither gnarly nor bitchin’. (Hey, it was the 80’s.) Recently, I found out that girls who might have been interested in me were warned off, saying they'd lose their popularity if seen with me.
In all fairness, I didn't make it any easier. I tried to fit in, but in a high school known for football, wrestling and Future Farmers of America, I stuck out like a Narn at a Centauri mixer. I could have chosen a popular path, but it wasn't in my nature. After seventh grade, and until my senior year, I had very few real dates. And I turned off most girls with talk of movies and comics and video games. The couple that gave me a chance found my awkward attempts to seduce them humorous and chose to give their virginities to upper classmen, instead.
I hid farther into my imagination, reading and creating stories; something that serves me well now as an author. I did finally get the first real girlfriend at age 17, lost my virginity, and eventually stopped being as awkward around women. I learned how to hide my dorkiness to get laid, to get girlfriends and, eventually even get married.
My then wife accepted my weird tastes for things like anime and comics and, God luv her, even tried her hand at tabletop RPGs. However, we were incompatible on many levels, and so a few years later, I was spit back into the world of dating like Boba Fett out of the sarlacc.
So, here I am, searching for the Leah to my Han, the Zelda to my Link, the Sally to my Jack, and if you'll let me, I'll share with you some insights I've gathered over the years about trying to find love somewhere between the sheets and the stars.
Next Month: Getting to First [Star] Base
Long_shot1986 is a single dad, author and former Beetlejuice impersonator. He's published one novel, a dozen short stories and made two short films. He resides in Denver, but can be found at conventions all over the country. To read more about him visit www.DavidBoop.com
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